Boys Adrift

I got this book from the library, yesterday.

I haven't even cracked the cover.

For some reason just having it in my house

makes me feel like I am moving in the right direction.

I have no idea if it will help but I am hopeful.

My oldest is stressing me out.

(I am for the most part, not someone who stresses.)

I am a pretty calm laid back Mom.

I don't freak out if I don't know exactly where one of my kids is.

I don't panic if my kids fail their spelling tests.

I rarely lose sleep over a disobedient child,

but my 11 year old is really stressing me out.

He seems to be looking for my freak out buttons

and then systematically pressing them over and over again.

He has not done anything major,

just little things,

like lighting matches in the basement,

opening a facebook account without permission under a fake name,

obsessing over Eminem,

little things like that.

Nothing that should really make me overly concerned,

except I am!

I have a feeling.

I have a bad feeling.

I have a really bad feeling that he is going to be just like me.

I'm not saying I was all bad, or even mostly bad, or even really bad at all, but I was a follower.

I had trouble with the "having a mind of my own" thing.

I think he is lot like me in this area.

I am praying,

I mean really praying,

that he will find some good friends that will help him grow and become who he wants to be.

Not necessarily who I want him to be,

but who he really wants to be.

(I wouldn't be sad at all if that lined up with who I want him to be!)

I love him,

but I am scared for him,

and for me.